A man moved into Surfleet. He wanted to live in the country. He had been used to living in the country.
After a while he said, “It’s like everywhere else. People move from towns and cities because they say they want to live in the country and as soon as they get here they change the countryside, which they said they wanted to move to, into the towns they moved from, with their demands and expectations of street-lamps and pavements.”
He stayed a few more years and then moved to somewhere more rural than Surfleet had become by then.
At this point let me make it clear that I am a child of mixed parentage, a country man and a city-born mother.
I don’t have any antipathy for its own sake towards people who come to live in country villages. That is precisely what my mother did do.
It is very unlikely that Her Majesty will invite me to Balmoral for September 5 and ask me to be a Benevolent Dictator, (well, a little bit benevolent just now and again), but if she does, I will start with outside lights.
I will make a law that says that Mick Yould must take down any light that he has put up in Surfleet which isn’t on a strict sensor time, and Ashley King and all the rest of them must take down every street lamp they have inflicted upon Surfleet and everywhere else, along with daft unnecessary bollard-type lights which stand around.
Then I’ll make a law that says that all outside lights must have a time limit to be on and they must have shades on them which prevent the light from going upwards or the source from being visible from half a mile away, but directs the light downwards and a little bit outwards.
I don’t think I can design a shade but I’m sure people can do.
We have all manner of shades around the lights inside our houses, shielding our eyes from the stark brightness of the bulbs, so surely the same can be done for outside lights.
If people are afraid of burglars, why do they need huge lights burning all night long, before dusk until way after dawn?
Why aren’t lights enough if they are on sensors and light up if the burglars get near?
A house near me manages perfectly well with those sensor-governed lights on two of its walls, maybe even all four walls, so it’s causing minimum irritation to other creatures who share the earth with us, as well as keeping the electricity use for lights at a minimum.
Yes, I did see a film called ‘Operation Mincemeat’. Yes, I do remember the scene of London in the blackout, with everyone walking around with their torches aimed downwards. Yes, I did smile in the darkness of the cinema.
Yes, I do long to shout, “Put that ruddy light out.”
Frances Richardson
Surfleet
