It seems funny to think that Vin Diesel’s first outing as Xander Cage in xXx was 15 long years ago.
Billed then as an extreme American take on James Bond, I actually quite enjoyed what was essentially a generic action film that featured a few decent stunts.
With Cage announced as “dead” in the 2005 sequel State Of The Union, which saw Ice Cube replace Diesel as xXx, it seemed unlikely that the franchise would bring the original star back.
But The Return Of Xander Cage does just that – and also ups the ante with an insane plot filled with non-stop action that will leave you knackered at the end of its 1.50hour running time.
The cynic in me would suggest that the use of set piece after set piece covers up the fact that the story is nonsensical, but I was hardly expecting a masterclass in storytelling.
Indeed, just like his most famous role in The Fast and Furious series, xXx is all about Diesel pulling off ridiculous action stunts – and refuses to take itself too seriously.
We find Diesel’s Cage living in Brazil, seemingly retired from being an active agent. Watching football and bedding attractive women (while also still participating in death-defying antics) seems to be his status quo, so who can blame him?
However, when a criminal group get their hands on some tech (dubbed Pandora’s Box) that is capable of shutting down sattelites and crashing them into select targets, the US bigwigs realise that they need to bring in an alternative kind of special agent.
Cue them recruiting Cage, a former member of Agustus Gibbons’ (Samuel L Jackson) xXx programme.
Jackson does appear in the film briefly (alongside football superstar Neymar, no less), but isn’t as prominent as in the original.
This time Cage is answering to Toni Collett’s Jane Marke, but he selects his own team of criminals and sharp-shooters.
They include eagle-eye shooter Adele Wolff (Ruby Rose), street-wise DJ Nicks (Kris Wu) and the slightly unhinged Tennyson Torch (Game of Thrones’ Hound himself, Rory McCann).
Keeping them in check is the geeky Becky Clearidge (Nina Dobrev). She provides some comic relief, not that the film really needs it.
Their targets are a group that display the same kind of extreme skill as Cage, headed by Xiang (Rogue One’s Donnie Yen).
He introduces himself to the party in typical xXx manner, jumping 90 feet from one building to another before landing seamlessly and shooting up a room.
Working with Xiang are the beautiful Serena Unger (Deepika Padukone), the crazy Talon (Tony Jaa) and the muscle-bound Hawk (UFC fighter Michael Bisping).
With such a heavy cast, you’ll not be surprised to hear that the story doesn’t knit together too well.
The action sequences are largely enjoyable, but there’s just too many of them linked together.
In the absence of any kind of deeper plot, director DJ Caruso at least attempts to up the ante in every scene, with the results verging from the sublime to the ridiculous.
It’s difficult to be too hard on xXx. It’s big and stupid, but knows it.
If you can leave your brain at the door, there is some good fun to be had here.
Just don’t expect any of it to make sense or display any kind of realism.
Diesel is the master at making this kind of film work – and just about delivers.
Voice Verdict: 6.5/10
+ Non-stop action
+ Vin Diesel in his element
+ Doesn’t take itself too seriously
– Ridiculous story
– Very cheesy
SHOWTIMES
Boston’s West End Cinema (Fri, Jan 27 to Thurs, Feb 2)
**PITBULL: TOUGH WOMEN (18)
8.30pm (Sun)
**TRAINSPOTTING 2 (18)
10am (Sat/Sun), 12.20pm (Sat/Sun/Wed), 3pm (daily), 5.40pm (daily), 8.40pm (daily)
**SPLIT (15)
12.30pm (Wed), 8.20pm (daily)
**SING (U)
2D – 1pm (Sat/Sun), 6.10pm (daily)
3D – 10.30am (Sat/Sun), 3.40pm (Sat/Sun), 4pm (not Sat/Sun)
MOANA (PG)
2D – 12.15pm (Sun), 12.30pm (Sat)
LION (PG)
12.20pm (Wed), 3pm (not Sun), 5.40pm (not Sat/Tue), 8.20pm (not Wed/Thu)
xXx: THE RETURN OF XANDER CAGE (12A)
2D – 5.40pm (daily), 8.10pm (not Sun/Tue)
3D – 3.10pm (daily)
LA LA LAND (12A)
Noon (Wed) 2.30pm (Fri/Sat/Sun/Wed), 4.15pm (Tue/Thu), 5.15pm (not Sat/Tue/Thu), 5.30pm (Sat), 8pm (daily)
ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY (12A)
12.15pm (Sat/Sun)
RAEES (12A TBC)
5.30pm (Sat), 8pm (Wed)
KIDS’ CLUB
Sat/Sun 10am – Trolls (U), 10.15am – Pete’s Dragon (PG)
SILVER SCREEN
Wed 11.30am – La La Land (12A)
**FREE LIST SUSPENDED
